This email popped into my inbox recently:
Dear sir,
I
wonder whether either yourself or any of your readers would be
interested in my recent advert, (attached), the positions of which I am
having difficulty filling.
I
am seriously considering rewarding, as further inducement, a sizeable
crate of Tunnock's Snowballs to each of the successful applicants. (As
you're doubtless aware, Tunnocks have been eaten, used as a binding
agent re. footwear, and fashioned into bait traps during all successful
monster expeditions.)
Interested parties may discover more at www.festicopia.com
Winter is almost upon us and the beast must be caught!
Yours in haste,
Colonel Buckshot
If you are foolhardy enough, you know what to do! Sadly, I just fail to meet his age range requirements, but I find his Nessie on Land theory ... strangely compelling.
The author can be contacted at lochnesskelpie@gmail.com
I'm 100% foolhardy and an expert in fisticuffs!! My sidekick monkey has a pet parrot so we make up a trio of eager monster hunters. I'm a womanizer who will no doubt win the heart of the lady accompanying the Colonel and I.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I'm older than the required age limit but I refuse to be honest when I apply ( and gain this coveted position ) I'm the man for the job, see you soon Nessie.
Sorry - I probably am not qualified. Too aged by at least a decade, and me sidekick is not a rat, but a cat named Egg. I have also been in a relationship for several decades, so romantic overtures will not be on the table; on the other hand this might make it easier to hire that "young lady" if my other issues were to be overlooked. I have been interested in Big Bassa since grade school, and am offering any and all help I may be able to provide...
ReplyDelete