This email popped into my inbox recently:
I wonder whether either yourself or any of your readers would be interested in my recent advert, (attached), the positions of which I am having difficulty filling.
I am seriously considering rewarding, as further inducement, a sizeable crate of Tunnock's Snowballs to each of the successful applicants. (As you're doubtless aware, Tunnocks have been eaten, used as a binding agent re. footwear, and fashioned into bait traps during all successful monster expeditions.)
Interested parties may discover more at www.festicopia.com
Winter is almost upon us and the beast must be caught!
Yours in haste,
If you are foolhardy enough, you know what to do! Sadly, I just fail to meet his age range requirements, but I find his Nessie on Land theory ... strangely compelling.
The author can be contacted at email@example.com